Welcome to my official website

I am Simon Brett, the writer responsible for the Charles Paris, Mrs Pargeter, Fethering and Blotto & Twinks series of crime novels. I was very honoured to be awarded an OBE in the 2016 New Year’s Honours ‘for services to literature’. Round the same time I was elected a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature, thus providing me with some more letters to put after my name. Then back in 2014 I was presented with The CWA Diamond Dagger, one of the highest accolades in the crime writing world. My writing also includes comedy in radio and television series such as No Commitments and After Henry. I am very fortunate to make a living (most of the time) from something I would do anyway. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to write. I still do, and I want to do it better.

I am, incidentally, not to be confused with Simon Brett, the wood engraver. I occasionally meet people who say how fortunate I am to be able not only to write but also to create such skilful and beautiful wood engravings. Sadly, I have no aptitude at all for the visual arts. Should you wish to find the other, artistic Simon Brett, his website is:

But here on mine, by clicking on the relevant links, you will be able to find out more about me and my writing.

Seriously Funny… and Other Oxymorons

My 100th publication is a modern book of oxymorons, from 'alcohol-free wine' to 'compassionate Conservatism'

The oxymoron is one of the great beauties of the English language - 'a figure of speech that juxtaposes elements that appear to be contradictory'. Some are so common that they are part of everyday language: when we speak of acting naturally... or a victimless crime... or buy a one-size-fits-all garment... the oxymoron is there, hiding in plain sight.

From Popular Culture, to Political Principles and Business Ethics, this book (sure to be a new classic) contains a seriously funny collection of the most brilliantly silly oxymorons, accompanied by amusing illustrations by Paul Thomas. For example...

Numb Feeling: This can be prompted by many domestic events, such opening a spouse's credit card statement, picking up the telephone bill for a teenager in love, or simply standing on the bathroom scales.

Open Secret: There are many of these in relationships, the most common being a husband having an affair that everyone knows about (except his wife).

Useful FAQ: FAQ is an abbreviation for 'Frequently Asked Questions'. Lists of FAQs are guaranteed to list the answer to every question except the one you want the answer to.

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